#592
Post
by Chuks » Tue Jan 31, 2017 12:35 pm
That reminds me of something .... When Twottering in West Africa I would often have a co-pilot who enjoyed spicy food, when the spices would come out in his perspiration. His turn to fly, up came the left hand onto the power levers and .... Urrgh! A wave of stale foo-foo-scented sweat would wash over me.
Another guy favored big, white hankies scented with cheap but powerful lilac scent. He would whip this thing the size of a pillowcase out and flap it around to dire effect.
A Twotter oddity is that the air circulates from the cabin into the cockpit, no idea why except that the cockpit is a breezy workplace.
We would get early morning departures that would trigger small explosions in the gastric tracts of some of our pax, and I had this one co-pilot I thought of as the Gollywog, because he looked just like him, with his round face and the dark pupils of his eyes ringed with white. A gastric blast would waft through the cockpit and the Gollywog would turn to goggle at me, fixing me with those eyes, and always ask "Captain! Was that you?" when I would always deny having got into what really was an offense against the Geneva Convention, chemical warfare.
Even later on, when I thought I had made it, finally in a proper airliner, the girls would dose the stinky bog with rose-scented bog deodorant, what really was rose-scented bog odorant, because funds were lacking for proper bog chemicals. Same story, when whatever happened way down the back hit the flight deck (no more mere cockpit) about two seconds later to deadly effect.
And here we go again! Trump cuts another brainfart in D.C. and nine hours later we get it on the morning news here in Germany like a wave of stench.
Truly, my life's path is strewn with cowpats from the Devil's own herd.