Friday Jokes

[OFSO]

"Airbus A380 is known as the world’s largest passenger plane due to its enormity."

No kidding !

[Hydromet]

Enormity is another one of those words that is, more often than not, used incorrectly.

enormity | ɪˈnɔːmɪti |
noun (plural enormities)
1 (the enormity of) [mass noun] the great or extreme scale, seriousness, or extent of something perceived as bad or morally wrong: a thorough search disclosed the full enormity of the crime.
• (in neutral use) large size or scale: I began to get a sense of the enormity of the task.
2 a grave crime or sin: the enormities of war.

I suppose it depends on your opinion of the Airbus A380.

[Fox3WheresMyBanana]

From my Canadian bank...

We¿re here to help.

It would appear that you are in Mexico to help

[tango15]

From my Canadian bank...

We¿re here to help.

It would appear that you are in Mexico to help

Ah yes, the inverted question (interrogation) mark. When I first began to learn Spanish, I thought the printers had been on the Estrella!

[bob2s]

IMG_6306.jpg (61.59 KiB) Viewed 1602 times

[ricardian]

[Archer]

[Ex-Ascot]

Archer

[FD2]

[Woody]

[Woody]

Anyone who says an onion is the only vegetable to make you cry has clearly never been hit in the face by a turnip.

[Fox3WheresMyBanana]

Ah yes, the little-known Boston Turnip Party, which preceded the American version by 30 years.

[Woody]

[Archer]

[OFSO]

Not a realistic depiction of a 737 on the box. It's all in one piece, undercarriage looks like it worked, and doesn't look like it's standing in mud or grass.

[llondel]

boeingisland.jpg (53.56 KiB) Viewed 1060 times

[llondel]

One for Woody...

Erik ten Hag walks into a bank to cash a cheque. As he approaches the cashier he says, "Good morning, Ms could you please cash this cheque for me?"
Cashier:"It would be my pleasure. Could you please show me your ID?"
Ten Hag:"Truthfully, I did not bring my ID with me as I didn't think there was any need to. I am Erik ten Hag, Manager of Manchester United”.
Cashier: "Yes, I know who you are, but with all the regulations and monitoring of the banks because of impostors and forgers and requirements of the legislation, etc., I must insist on seeing ID."
Ten Hag: Just ask anyone here at the bank who I am and they will tell you. Everybody knows who I am."
Cashier: "I am sorry, Mr Hag but these are the bank rules and I must follow them."
Ten Hag:"Come on please, I am urging you, please cash this cheque."
Cashier: "Look sir, here is an example of what we can do. One day, Tiger Woods came into the bank without ID. To prove he was Tiger Woods he pulled out his putter and made a beautiful shot across the bank into a cup. With that shot we knew him to be Tiger Woods and cashed his cheque."
"Another time, Andre Agassi came in without ID. He pulled out his tennis racket and made a fabulous shot where the tennis ball landed in my cup. With that shot we cashed his cheque. So, sir, what can you do to prove that it is you and only you?"
Erik stands there thinking and thinking and finally says, "Honestly, my mind is an absolute total blank...there is nothing that comes to my mind whatsoever. I can't think of a single thing. I have absolutely no idea what to do. I don't have a bloody clue."
Cashier: "Will that be large or small notes , Mr Ten Hag?”

[Fox3WheresMyBanana]

Well, this lot liked it!

[Fox3WheresMyBanana]

Bird Flu - says man from the FDA claiming to be a diseased bird expert.

Looks more like a shift manager from KFC....so probably is said expert. Must see hundreds every day!

[Karearea]

A German Shepherd, a Doberman and a cat have died.
All three are faced with God who wants to know what they believe in.
The German shepherd says: "I believe in discipline training and loyalty to my master."
"Good," says God. "Then sit down on my right side. Doberman, what do you believe in?"
The Doberman answers: "I believe in the love, care and protection of my master.
"Ah," said God. "You may sit to my left."
Then he looks at the cat and asks, "And what do you believe in?"

The cat answers: "I believe you're sitting in my seat."