Best and Worst Hotel Experiences

[tango15]

One hotel I remember, somewhere in the Middle East, but not in a major city. I had a booking, not that it meant much in those days. I arrived late in the afternoon and was given the key to a room. As I was going to be there for a few days, I took some clothes out of the suitcase and opened the wardrobe, only to discover that it was already full of clothes. There was laundry in the hotel laundry bag, too. Thinking they had put me in the wrong room, I rang reception to explain. "Oh don't worry sir," was the response, "the gentleman won't be back for a few days." Of course, there were no other available rooms. I slept on top of the bed for the three nights I was there.

[OneHungLow]

One hotel I remember, somewhere in the Middle East, but not in a major city. I had a booking, not that it meant much in those days. I arrived late in the afternoon and was given the key to a room. As I was going to be there for a few days, I took some clothes out of the suitcase and opened the wardrobe, only to discover that it was already full of clothes. There was laundry in the hotel laundry bag, too. Thinking they had put me in the wrong room, I rang reception to explain. "Oh don't worry sir," was the response, "the gentleman won't be back for a few days." Of course, there were no other available rooms. I slept on top of the bed for the three nights I was there.

You have clearly seen hotels sir!

[Fox3WheresMyBanana]

The Rock in Gib was indeed a fine hotel, and it used to be ridiculously cheap compared to Rate 1s.
We used to deploy to Gib to fly escort and sweep for 12 and 208 Buccaneers.
As they'd been there for donkey's, they ended up in The Rock whilst we were in the Officers' Mess.
One Bucc nav showed me the new wallet he'd had to buy to fit all his Rate 1 cash in.

However, not far along from The Rock and with an equally good view was the accommodation for the female schoolies, a fine Victorian building with big verandas with iron railings, and they were (in at least one case) unbelieveably grateful to pilots who had a room in the Officers' Mess that they were willing to share after a Mess party...
I shall say no more, save to say that The Rock doesn't have nude waitresses serving red wine, gratis

The worst has to be Brindisi, which I ended up in on a ferry flight. I checked into 2 hotels and checked straight out again. I went to the most expensive hotel in the place, which you would only agree was 3 star if the Mafia were standing next to you. As indeed they were. It was the only one I felt vaguely safe in. At least, it had a door with a working lock. I did not risk the "bathroom". I thought such places had been made illegal by the 1975 Biological Weapons Convention.

[reddo]

I think my worst hotel experience in recent memory was this shithole in Tyvat. Spectacularly bad. The world's thinnest curtains, questionable lock, bare wires every where, stairs were just unrendered concrete. Truly awful.

The best? That's easy. 6th Senses Resort, Laamu, Maldives.

[Pontius Navigator]

Tango, yes, our 40th so 9 years ago. Still using a temporary dining room.
While we were there a SAGA tour arrived. They were all DOA and seemed oblivious of their surroundings. We had experienced the same at Reeds Palace. We were on the terrace having tea; the cruise tour were shepherded into a back room out of sight.

[tango15]

I think my worst hotel experience in recent memory was this shithole in Tyvat. Spectacularly bad. The world's thinnest curtains, questionable lock, bare wires every where, stairs were just unrendered concrete. Truly awful.

The best? That's easy. 6th Senses Resort, Laamu, Maldives.

I had to look that one up, Reddo. Then I realised I had been to Montenegro many years ago, en route to Albania. It would seem that for all they try to embrace a Western lifestyle, they just can't hack it. Ditto re the curtains. especially in post-Soviet countries. Thank God for the eye masks the airlines used to give you!

[Rossian]

Worst was "the" hotel on Sal in 1967. It was on stilts and every thing that had expired since Queen Victoria died had been swept underneath it. The showers were salt water and of course we didn't have the right kind of soap, nor had the hotel. Mateus rose was cheaper than the bottled water so guess what our Shackleton crew drank. When I went to bed and pulled down the coverlet hundreds of cockroaches dived under the pillow. Pulled up the coverlet and lay down still in my flying suit to the "crispy crunchy" sound of 'roaches being squashed.
The best was the Fairmont in Singapore. On our 0100 arrival the young lass in reception said we don't have a room for you. Buggah! She proposed a solution, if we allowed, she put us in a penthouse suite on the 26th floor. Oh if you insist! It had a fully fitted kitchen where "your" chef could prepare dinner for 12 at the big dining table with a view over the Singapore skyline. A garden room with a water feature and an indoor BBQ. A lounge with a 52" tv and a Bose sound system. The main room had a "business" centre with full internet connection, another huge tv, the bed was so wide I almost had to call madame on the phone to agree to meet in the middle. The bathroom was a complete "his and hers" facilities and the most unnecessary thing to find in Singapore imaginable - a sauna!!. Madame was blown away by the view over the nightime city (which the young lass filed away) and when we moved out the next day she put us one floor down in another fantastic room with the same view. The concierges were fantastic. When I wanted an internet cafe to do the checkins for the next flights, they asked for our passports and our flight details "We'll sort that out for you". And they did.
I dropped my small camera in a taxi coming back from the Big Wheel, the concierge tracked down the cab and went across town to the depot, picked it up and brought it to our room. Fan-bloody-tastic. If I could afford it I'd be back there in a heartbeat.

The Ancient Mariner

[tango15]

In the days of the Soviet Union, once you exited visa control at shabby Sheremetyevo, you went to the Intourist desk, where you produced your passport. A sour-faced harridan would then shuffle some papers and produce a note about the size of a postage stamp, on which was written the name of the hotel - in Russian of course. You would then show this to the taxi driver, who would take you there. On one occasion, I noticed that I had been allocated the Hotel Ukraina, a huge Stalinesque hotel on the banks of the Moscow River. On presenting my passport and hotel slip at reception, a porter was summoned and given a key, an unusual event in itself. He indicated to me to follow him, and I then found myself on one of the top floors of the hotel, in an enormous suite. It had the biggest bathroom I have ever seen, with a bath of Olympic proportions. It also had an enormous mirror (two-way?) on one wall. I was only there for two nights, and I never understood why I was given that room. There were no discernible ladies of the night in the Ukraina, which was unusual, so little chance of them catching me In flagrante delicto on an 8mm cine reel. No complaints really, though. It certainly made a change from the most common billet for foreigners, the Intourist near Red Square, with its leather-jacketed thugs on the steps and wall to wall Проститутки in the reception area and the lifts. Even the Russians had the good sense to finally demolish the place in 2002 after just 32 years, by which time, the cockroaches had taken over the 22nd floor.

Moscow,_Hotel_Ukraina_(30585861673).jpg (13.86 KiB) Viewed 447 times

[G-CPTN]

I worked for an engineering company which was a (tiny) subsidiary of Maersk.
I was sent to Hong Kong where Maersk had their own 5star-plus hotel.
On arrival at Kai Tak I picked up the hotel telephone and announced my arrival (as instructed).
"Sorry, there will be a delay - but we will come as soon as possible!"
A stretched white Rolls Royce (with air-con) arrived and transported me to the hotel, where the manager was there out front to greet me.
I was shown to the penthouse suite where bowls of fruit and personalised stationary was available for my use.
A female was stationed permanently in the corridor immediately outside the door and I was told to ask for whatever I wanted (!).

Throughout my stay an air-conditioned limousine was always available - I had several business trips planned to Singapore and Taiwan, so getting to and from the airport was never a problem. I also had appointments with several of the local bus companies, including riding the local buses to the extremities of the (then) colony as well as to the 'workshops'.

Why the specialised treatment?

I was 'the man from head office' and nobody knew exactly who - so I was treated with the ultimate respect.

[John Hill]

It is a long way from NZWN to Briz Norton on a 727 but we managed it (in 1982), we even had a few stopovers on the way. Our ever efficient travel lady had made a reservation for me at Charing Cross Hotel (!). We arrived quite late and was told in no uncertain terms that I did not have a reservation. I rummaged in my bag to produce the carbon from the telex. The desk wallah unlocked an office and came out with 5 metres of telex roll and my reservation was confirmed. I guess the reservations handling strumpet was a few days behind in her work.

I have been in some crummy hotels on most of the continents of the world (Antarctica excluded) and my room at Charing Cross Hotel would rate among them. Apparently at some time in it's history it had been decided that the room needed a shower so they sawed two feet off the bed to make room for it. I suppose it was about that time that the 'all rooms must have TV' rule was enacted which would have been nice except the only place to sit to view the TV was in the shower. The room also had an overstuffed armchair which took all available floor space so I shoved it out into the hall which gained me a thorough growling. The next day I left the chair tossed on the bed and from there it dematerialized, apparently.