Friday Jokes

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CharlieOneSix
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Re: Friday Jokes

#10901 Post by CharlieOneSix »

Ex-Ascot wrote:
Sat Apr 13, 2024 12:43 pm
No neither of us get that one.
spoonerism......loving shepherd v shoving leopard....
The helicopter pilots' mantra: If it hasn't gone wrong then it's just about to...
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Opsboi
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Re: Friday Jokes

#10902 Post by Opsboi »

Ex-Ascot wrote:
Sat Apr 13, 2024 12:43 pm
No neither of us get that one.
Spooner would have said 'shoving leopard'...
ricardian
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Re: Friday Jokes

#10903 Post by ricardian »

The truth, as so many of us will attest....
In the beginning was the Plan. And then came the Assumptions. And the Assumptions were without form. And the Plan was without substance.
And darkness was upon the face of the Rank and File. And they spoke amongst themselves, saying, ''It is a crock of sh1t, and it stinketh.''
And the Corporals went unto their Sergeants and said, ''It is a pail of dung, and none may abide the odour thereof.''
And the Sergeants went unto their SWO, saying, ''It is a container of excrement, and it is very strong, such that none may abide it.''
And the SWO went unto the Adjutant, saying, ''It is a vessel of fertilizer, and none may abide its strength.''
And the Adjutant spoke amongst his fellows, agreeing, ''It contains that which aids growth, and it is very strong.''
And the Officers went unto their 2 i/c, saying unto him, ''It promotes growth, and it is very powerful.''
And the 2 i/c went unto his CO, saying unto him, ''This new plan will actively promote the growth and vigour of the Station, with powerful effects.''
And the CO looked upon the Plan, and saw that it was good.
And the Plan became Policy.
This is how Sh1t Happens..
Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
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ricardian
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Re: Friday Jokes

#10904 Post by ricardian »

As I walk through the Valley of the Shadow of Death I remind myself that you can't always trust Google maps.
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Woody
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Re: Friday Jokes

#10905 Post by Woody »

Image
When all else fails, read the instructions.
ricardian
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Re: Friday Jokes

#10906 Post by ricardian »

Cats have a long history of annoying the human race

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Re: Friday Jokes

#10907 Post by ricardian »

Cats can be SO over dramatic at times!

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Re: Friday Jokes

#10908 Post by ricardian »

I scared some Jehovah's Witnesses today by going to the door stark naked. I'm not sure what scared them more, me being naked or the fact that I knew where they lived.
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Karearea
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Re: Friday Jokes

#10909 Post by Karearea »

You did not forget why you walked into the room.

You walked in on an alien, and he erased your mind so he could escape!
'An accident to the boot-oil,' I explained. 'If I get down to my last three shirts you will notice it.'
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Re: Friday Jokes

#10910 Post by Karearea »

To all the people who said I'd never amount to anything because of my procrastination:

just you wait.
'An accident to the boot-oil,' I explained. 'If I get down to my last three shirts you will notice it.'
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Re: Friday Jokes

#10911 Post by G-CPTN »

:YMAPPLAUSE: :-bd
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Woody
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Re: Friday Jokes

#10912 Post by Woody »

Image
When all else fails, read the instructions.
ricardian
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Re: Friday Jokes

#10913 Post by ricardian »

Husband:
When I die, I'd like to die making love.
Wife:
At least we know it'll be quick.
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Ex-Ascot
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Re: Friday Jokes

#10914 Post by Ex-Ascot »

Glenn Bradley, Head of Flight Operations and the UK Civil Aviation Authority, said: 'Aviation is one of the safest forms of air travel'.
^!
'Yes, Madam, I am drunk, but in the morning I shall be sober and you will still be ugly.' Sir Winston Churchill.
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Re: Friday Jokes

#10915 Post by Boac »

You can see why he got the job..................
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Woody
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Re: Friday Jokes

#10916 Post by Woody »

Campaign Against Aviation :((
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bob2s
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Re: Friday Jokes

#10917 Post by bob2s »

I had a question about what our parents did before they had access to the Internet. I asked my 26 brothers and sisters and they didn't know either.
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Woody
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Re: Friday Jokes

#10918 Post by Woody »

Just been to see Benny from maintenance in hospital. He was putting up one of those boards that tell you have many days since the last accident and it fell on him.
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FD2
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Re: Friday Jokes

#10919 Post by FD2 »

All pilots take note!


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Ex-Ascot
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Re: Friday Jokes

#10920 Post by Ex-Ascot »

Roger.
'Yes, Madam, I am drunk, but in the morning I shall be sober and you will still be ugly.' Sir Winston Churchill.
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